Now what?

December 14, 2009

You know how there are tons of famous quotes and mottos that they say you should live by, but most of them completely contradict one another?  What the crap is that about? How are we supposed to know what to think when one quote is telling us “Forgive, but never forget” and other one is saying “Love as if you’ve never been hurt before.” Loving as if you’ve never been hurt before would essentially mean forgetting everything you’ve learned from past relationships/experiences…which is completely opposite of “Learn from your mistakes” I CANT LEARN/REMEMBER/FORGET ALL AT THE SAME TIME PEOPLE! Holy guacamole. Whats a girl to do?

Well, I don’t know what we SHOULD do, but I know what I do.

First…

I turn to these ladies.  I’ve found that if they don’t have the exact answer, they at least give me something to relate to. Seriously, I don’t think there is a single woman in this world that can’t relate to one of these women. And we can all relate to each of them at some points. We all have a Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha in us.

Second…

I get a second opinion. Auggie looks at things equally. She loves everyone. What a breath of fresh air. Plus she gives me kisses and cuddles.

Finally…

I take a deep breath and ask myself what it is I feel. What is it that I need?

The truth is I don’t think it’s possible to forget something significant in the past that happened to you. But there have definitely been major events in my past that at the time I could never see myself feeling matter of fact or detached from, and yet I’ve found that I do now. It’s not that I’ve forgotten them, I’ve just moved past them. When we learn from something, those lessons manifest themselves in our bodies, if we let them. We are changed by them, whether we know it or not. I think we just have to trust that’s enough. Trust that our bodies and hearts will be their own protectors, and our focus is learning how to let go. To be a sponge and just soak up what life gives us. As scary as it is sometimes (ok, a lot of times), I’d rather be a dirty, raggy, smelly sponge with holes all over it, than a pristine sponge that has never touched dirt or grime since the day it was sponge-i-fied.

If there is no potential to be hurt, there is no potential to be happy. Must remember that.

‘Til next time…

-C

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2 Responses to “Now what?”

  1. Chelsea said

    This is such a wonderful and interesting entry, cait.

    I was JUST thinking the other day about how contradictory quotes are when you, me, and mom were sitting in your room discussing various things. Either your or her quoted something, and it was entirely relevant to the situation… but in the back of our minds i think there is always another way we could go, and there’s probably a worthwhile quote for that way, too. It’s all relative I suppose. And I think you’re right that what matters is asking yourself what feels right to you. You can make sense of what’s “right” generally, or to other people, until you’re blue in the face… but in the end, I think we all intuitively and innately know what’s best for us.

    That sponge analogy is great.

    ❤ rock on kiddo.

    PS. That picture of you and auggie is probably the best one I've ever seen.

  2. Whitney said

    Haha, “sponge-i-fy.” Love it. 🙂

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