I fell in love again, all things go, all things go.

January 24, 2010

There are the times when you are smiling, beaming, laughing in love, and there are times that you’re crying and overwhelmed. You grow up and you learn to keep your feelings bound. Not to remove them in any sense, but to keep them “contained”, making sure they never “boil over” Why? Because you might get hurt. No one can guarentee that you won’t. But at the end of the day, whether you’re in one piece, or if you’ve completely fallen apart, you have to do what it takes to pick yourself up. Because if you don’t give yourself the potential to fall apart, you’ll never give yourself the potential to be completely whole. 

I’m learning that loving the second time around is a lot more complex than loving the first time. It’s not any less, but it’s different in certain ways. When you’re 16 years old and someone says they love you, you believe they will forever. And they probably believe that too. And they very well could. But even if they do, things evolve and you’re tested. Sometimes you fail, and sometimes you pass. But when you get the courage to retake your tests and put yourself on the line again, having someone on the other end to be there for you, to be patient and understanding of your fear and to acknowledge it, that’s when you know it’s worth it. 

And if you’re like me and are lucky enough to get to go through all of these tests with the same person that you fell in love with when you were just a little pipsqueak high school freshman who didn’t know squat? Well…that’s just peachy :).

‘Til next time…

-C

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